N‑FT: Non-Functional Tower.

Unable to sell my unused but physically useful PC for $450, I'm selling it through 101 imaginary useless Non-Functional Tower tokens: N‑FTts*.

Non-Functional Tower

Specs: PSU—Corsair AX760, MOBO—Asus P9X79 LE, CPU—Intel Core i7-3820 3.6㎓ @ 4.5㎓, RAM—16㎇ (2x 8㎇ Corsair Vengeance LP), GPU—EVGA GeForce GT 520**, SSD—Samsung 840/850 P./E. 128㎇/250㎇, HDD—WD Caviar GP 2TB, Fan—Noctua NH-D15, Case—Thermaltake Core V71.

“Invest” now, from $2 only!

Partake in this once in a lifetime opportunity by transacting through PayPal or Ko-Fi and messaging the number, name, and URL you want associated †. All of this is automated*** by polynucleotide chains composed of four types of nucleotide subunits, also known as DNA chain biology… a human****.

Usurping unavailable tokens by outbidding current “owners”***** applies additional effects, e.g., pqr (2), uvw (4), xyz (10).

Rarity & Ownership.

1/1The N‑FT{0}$29
18/19Fan{59–77}$3№ 59: silver ($4.71).
22/23Case{78–100}$2№ 100: Infernuz ($2.17).




  • * Analogous to regular NFTs: you will not own anything.
  • ** Analogous to the crypto“currency” industry: false advertising.
  • *** Analogous to blockchain technology: inefficient. Just pay me and wait. The more you pay the faster I'll update, probably.
  • **** Analogous to blockchain technology: trifles sold with buzzwords.
  • ***** Analogous to blockchain hype: greed is the bottom line; the house always wins—“fuck you”.
  • ****** Analogous to blockchain technology: immutable until it's decided it's not.
  • † If I don't like any of the submitted content, I will alter it without refunds.
  • ‡ Payments that don't surpass the price of any (un)available token are considered donations and won't get attributed an URL. Actually, payments that do are donations as well, but let's keep pretending.
  • ♡ Two buyers already made this “N‑FT” more successful than most actual NFTs will ever be. The irony.


Read or contribute blockchain/crypto“currency”/NFT skepticism: “Awesome critique of crypto/web3”.

Transaction history******.

Enable JavaScript, 0: Isaac Newton (∅).

By Cynicus Rex.